REVOLTING RHYMES: CINDERELLA
Based on Roald Dahl’s Cinderella
For Drama Beginners
Stage Clear. Music Comes on.
All stage hands and three narrators gather around the narrators as the story begins.
Narrator 1: I guess you think you know this story.
(All stage hands nod their heads.)
Narrator 2: You don’t.
(All stage hands look towards the main actor)
(NARRATOR 3): The real one’s much more gory.
(All stage hands go… making gory faces)
Narrator 1: The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
Narrator 2: And made to sound all soft and sappy
NARRATOR 3: Just to keep the children happy.
(All stage hands go..awwww, so cute, sigh!)
Narrator 1: Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
Narrator 2: The Ugly Sisters,
Ugly Sisters: jewels and all,
Narrator 2: Departed (Claps her hands) for the Palace Ball,
(Narrators become chariot)
NARRATOR 3: While darling little Cinderella,
(Sitara Ramanna comes walking in with a red chair and Cindy gets on top of it)
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Cindy : (Sigh) This is sooo sad.
NARRATOR 3: Little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar
Narrator 1: Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.
Cindy : Shoo! Help! Let me out!
Narrator 2: The magic fairy heard her shout!
NARRATOR 3: Appearing in a blaze of light
Fairy God Father : My dear, Are you alright?
Cindy : All right? Can’t you see?
I feel as rotten as rotten can be.
Narrator 1: She beat her fist against the wall and shouted…
Cindy : Get me to the palace Ball
Music: Some Bee Gees number
Cindy : There is a disco in the palace
THERE IS A DISCO AT THE PALACE!
The rest have gone and I am jalous!
I want a dress! I want a coach!
And earrings and a diamond brooch!
And silver slippers, two of those!
And lovely bedazzled clothes!
Done up like that I’ll guarantee
The handsome Prince will fall for me!
Narrator 2: The Fairy said,
Fairy God Father : Hang on a tick.
NARRATOR 3: He gave the magic wand a mighty flick And quickly, in no time at all,
Narrator 1: Cindy was at the Palace Ball!
Narrator 2: It made the Ugly Sisters wince, to see her dancing with the Prince.
NARRATOR 3: She held him very tight and pressed /herself against his manly chest.
Narrator 1: The Prince himself was turned to pulp, All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Prince : Wait a sec, let me catch a breath.. am seeing spots, am I close to death?
Narrator 2: Then midnight struck.
Sound Effect: Clock Striking 12
Narrator 2: Cindy shouted,
Cindy : Heck! I’ve got to run to save my neck!’
NARRATOR 3: The Prince cried…
Prince : No! Alas! Alack!
NARRATOR 3: He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted,
Cindy : Let me go!
Narrator 1: The dress was ripped from head to toe.
She ran out in her underwear,
Narrator 2: And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
NARRATOR 3: He pressed it to his pounding heart,
Prince : The girl this slipper fits,
NARRATOR 3: he cried,
Prince : Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I’ll visit every house in town
Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!
NARRATOR 3: Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.
Narrator 1: At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
The one whose face was blotched with blisters
UGS1: that means you (to UGS2)
UGS2: no you…
Narrator 1: It is not her or her.. but the both of you
(Actor brings a barrel – UGS1 and UGS2 go around like they are playing dog and the bone)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
Narrator 2: And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Sound Effect: Flush of the Loo
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
UGS1: Evil Laugh!
NARRATOR 3: Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
Narrator 1: In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
Narrator 2: Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in Narrator 3in.
NARRATOR 3: Now came the Ugly Sisters’ go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed,
Prince : No!
NARRATOR 3: But the sister screamed,
UGS1: Yes! It fits! Whoopee! – So now you’ve got to marry me!
Narrator 1: The Prince went white from ear to ear.
Prince : Let me out of here.
UGS1: Oh no you don’t! You made a vow!
There’s no way you can back out now!
Prince : Off with her head!
Narrator 2: The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
Prince : She’s prettier without her head.’
NARRATOR 3: Then up came Sister Number Two,
UGS2: Now I will try the shoe!
Prince : Try this instead!
NARRATOR 3: the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack –
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
Narrator 1: In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Narrator 2: Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
Cindy : What’s all the racket?
Narrator 2: Cindy cried.
Prince : Mind your own bizz,
Narrator 2: the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
Cindy : My Prince!… He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?
Narrator 1: The Prince cried,
Cindy : Who’s this dirty One??
Push her around, just for fun!
Narrator 1: Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
And said swoosh and swish
Fairy God Father : Cindy! make a wish!
Wish anything and have no doubt
That I will make it come about!’
Cindy : Oh kind Fairy,
This time I shall be more wary.
No more Princes, no more money.
I have had enough of people who act funny.
I’m wishing for a decent man.
Are they hard to find ? Do you think you can?’
Narrator 2: Within a minute, Cinderella
Narrator 2: Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam-maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles a nd laughter
And they were happy ever after.